Independently Me

it's time for a break

It's official, the semester is half over. Orginally I had planned on going to Death Valley for the week. I craved a place where my cell phone wouldn't work and I wouldn't be able to check my email every 15 minutes. (in reality, it's probably every 5 minutes) But funds have been tight this month and driving 10 hours each way for just a couple days of quiet really kind of lost its appeal. So in Salt Lake City I shall stay.

And then I won't have to leave Ellie behind either. 

And it's not like I don't have plenty to do while I say here. There's always laundry and dishes to get done, plus a house to clean, but I could do with getting my taxes done and my room cleaned out and decluttered as well. There's a tree in the backyard so I can still string up my hammock and check out of daily life if the weather is nice. 

The problem is I've been having a hard time concentrating on just one thing. I'm constantly jumping from a to b to c and rarely making it back to a in a timely manner. 

Case and point, while typing this post I decided to update my phone and ipad then got distracted with organizing my pictures and then downloading new podcasts. I thought I would listen to one while typing and that didn't really work out either. Even the music playing now is distracting me. *Le sigh* I'm breaking out the coffee shop noise.

And since this morning I've bopped around starting a whole bunch of things and not really finishing any of them. It's time to get focused. Though I am glad I finally learned how to take video with my dslr.

Maybe I'll feel more motivated after I eat something. And while I'm out grabbing food I should swing by the bank and run by Target. And I have a hankering to create something but I'm not sure what. I'm sure a trip to the craft store would solve that problem... but so would Pinterest and I'll spend two hours there and not even realize I still haven't eaten and now the bank is closed and I don't really want to go to Target anymore.

See what I mean? This is a real problem.

I'll get to Death Valley another time, I'm sure.

out for the winter

School's out now. It's pretty much official, even though I have a monster paper to finish up and turn in, tests and classes are complete. I'm well on my way to relearning what getting a full night's sleep is all about.

I'm hoping to make it to the ski slopes this winter season, so far not so good. While classes ended last week, I still have work to do and getting this paper wrapped up has been a royal pain in my side. But with the promise of three full weeks off and away from campus, I'm plodding ahead, making slow but steady progress.

Christmas is around the corner. Are you ready? I'm so not ready. My roommate has been busy decorating the apartment with garlands of bottle caps and paper trees and I haven't purchased one gift, mailed one card,  or even made one shopping list. I'm plumb out of inspiration this year and it's starting to bother me. I'm hoping that now the semester is wrapped with a neat little bow I can get moving on my holiday preps. 

There is much to look forward with next semester. But until then, I'm trying to take care of myself. I've been warding off a cold for a week or so and I'm still hoping it will give up and go away. I have a list of leisure reading so long that it's no longer leisure. And with a to-do list of website, resume and cut file updated to get done I won't be spending so much time watching movies and drinking egg nog as I'd like to.

But it's all topped off with a lovely trip to California to visit family and an adventure to Southern Utah for an assignment or two. And with these trips in mind, I have about 10 days left to get myself back in order and ready for the next semester. My how time just flies.

And hopefully between now and then, I'll find my Christmas spirit! 

 

overachiever? whaa??

There is a ton of stuff I'm trying to get done, get caught up on and teach myself to do. I always have something I should be doing, though a lot of the time I just plain don't have the motivation to do it. It seems I work better on a deadline. But I think that's just a major cop-out. 

Either way, when someone I admire called me an over-achiever the other day I laughed out loud. Mostly because even though I'm getting things done, they are not to the standard I hold for myself and usually past the deadline that has been set. *sigh*

But the thought occured to me, am I really trying to do too much? I thought I was just trying to acheive. But am I taking on too much? I'm definitely feeling burned out. But is that because of me or because of everything I'm trying to take on? Or is it all the same thing?

I need a nap just thinking about it.

When I get as busy as I am these days there is usually something that ends up falling through. Or it just doesn't get the attention it needs. And when I finally end up getting the task or project done, it hardly every turns out the way I want. 

And somewhere along the line I get tired of the stress of it all and quit the thing altogether. Which, of course, is terrible news and a terrible way to take care of the problem. But I confess that it happens and accepting that I have a  problem is the first step on the road to recovery. Or so I'm told.

Anyway, this semester has been a big lesson in learning how to say 'no'. No, I don't have time for that. No, that won't keep me on the right track. No, I don't have the energy for that. No, that won't progress me in my career. No, that doesn't make me happy. It's a lot of 'no' and it makes me uncomfortable.

But somewhere along the line I have been able to find some sort of peace through it all. A friend reminded me to look at my past and what I have given up, or put on hold, to get to where I am now. It's a reminder to not give away all that hard work I've already put in. A lesson in self-sabotage and simplicity. Keeping my tasks, responsibilites and projects pared down to the must-do list keeps me sane and in turn leaves time to pick up something fun every now and then. 

Recently I have been longing for the cubicle life again. Which is crazy, life is always greener huh?  While I think about those moments in the past when I was blissfully typing and working away in my own little cubicle not talking to people, I have to remind myself of the stuff I didn't like too. There's a reason I left that job. There's a reason I went back to school. School is just the purgatory between the hell where I was and the paradise where I am going. 

And for now I'm stuck in purgatory, completely in control of my destination and the route I take to get there. And I really couldn't ask for much more. 

Except to maybe get there faster? Oh wait, I have control over that too. And that is the ultimate test in knowing my limits and exercising my ability to say no.

two months and counting

Yeah, it's been awhile. Thanks for reminding me. 

It's just that, y'know, it's busy around here. 

But things are moving along. The semester is half-way over. Can you believe it?! Only seven weeks left. I'm not sure I'm quite ready, I feel like I'm still trying to get used to my schedule and I'm working so hard (too hard?) to stay on top of everything.

Last week was fall break and I was able to mostly enjoy a whole week off from school and being on campus. Needless to say I slept quite a bit. But with other commitments on my time I was still quite busy. I'm sure that ended up being a good thing, it did get me out of bed and showering every morning. 

At the end of the week I headed down to Panguitch Utah to do a story about some pharmacy students doing rural community outreach. It was a fun trip and wrapped a whole bunch of firsts into one tight little package for me. Traveling for a story, camping by myself and visiting Bryce Canyon. All good times.

Visiting Bryce was amazing, I'll share some photos from that later. 

And while it was all fun and I got some rest and I feel like my normal chipper self again, I didn't learn anything about Photoshop or web coding like I had totally planned to do. Oh well. I guess that's what winter break is for, right?

Either way, here's a short update to let you all know that I'm still alive. And there are a few thoughts kicking around my brain that don't have anything to do with first ammendment rights, communication technology or politics that as soon as I get another moment of free time I'll share with you. And some pretty kick-ass pictures too.

early mornings and late nights

It's been a long time since I actually blogged first thing in the morning. I used to get up at 5:30 regularly for the express purpose of waking up slowly.  I enjoy a leisurly wake up padding around the house drinking my coffee and eating breakfast. To think that I would get up extra early to be able to do that makes me laugh a little.

The dogs wake me up pretty regularly at 6:00 a.m. I don't mind, I still like being up in the early morning. There's something peaceful about the dark hours that happen before the world rolls out of bed and greets me. It's because of these hours and waking-up habits that I would call myself a morning person.

Though I'm also a sleep person. Y'know, someone who can sleep for 10-12 hours in a stretch. Though those instances are less and less frequent since, well, the dogs wake me up. But they can be satisfied with a quick potty break outside and some breakfast and then I'm allowed to go back to sleep, usually for another couple hours or so.

And all this was working like a well-oiled machine. They wake me up at 6 a.m., eat, back to sleep for two hours, wake me up again for a walk and we start our day. It was a beautiful relationship that ran like clockwork. All of this worked so well beacause I was going to bed by 11 p.m. Ideally, I was in bed reading by 10 p.m. A solid eight hours of sleep has always been my best friend.

Until last week when I started school. Who knew that me waking up to an alarm could be so jarring? Or that because of the alarm, those dogs wake me up EARLIER than 6 a.m. BEFORE the alarm goes off? 

As with every school or work adjustment I've ever made, my schedule is wonky, my eating habits are not consistent and now I have crazy dreams and can't even sleep through the night! *big sigh* 

I find that I'm getting to bed later and later, last night was the earliest in two weeks when I finally decided to call it quits at almost 11 p.m. Even Sunday night was closer to 11:30 and most of last week I saw the terrifying hour of midnight. 

Lately I'm getting home from 12-hour days on campus to dig around for dinner and unwind from the newsroom only to have at least four hours of reading to do, for which it would be nearly impossible for me to stay awake for the entire thing. 

Lest you think I decided to stay awake this morning for the purpose of complaining, because that's just not my style, I am awake to get some reading done. One more chapter before class today. And then after class there are three more and about 10 law cases to brief and understand their impact on laws about my bible, the first amendment. 

But before that all begins again, I'm taking these few moments to morning snuggle with my little corn dog the way I used to. And while I've switched from coffee and oatmeal to tea and fruit, today begins the way I want it to: with quiet reflection, a short planning session for the rest of the day and a little pep talk to get me through it. 

Good morning early morning, it's nice to see you again.

 

weekend recap

I just had one of the busiest weekends I've had in a really long time.  There was everything from shopping to volunteering to working. And school starts tomorrow! No time for sleeping in anymore, it's all business from here on out!

My weekend started Friday with a coffee date to Nobrow Coffee and Tea, a fun little local shop. I had a 3.5 mile run to complete that morning so I decided to run to the shop instead of getting up earlier and running before. I'm so glad I did! It was a fun little experience. And the coffee was great! We went specifically to try a local roaster, La Barba, and it was wonderful. I'll be looking out for them in other places too.

Friday afternoon I met with the roommate and her boyfriend at The Leonardo, a museum downtown for an after hours event. They shared some interesting information linking information overload and science with visualization. Not stuff I would normally seek out, but it always turns out to be interesting.  After the presentation we headed over to Squatters, a local brew pub, for beer and dinner and it was so yummy. I've never really had anything there that I didn't like. It's a definitely must-visit if you are ever in the SLC area.

My favorite summer sandals while waiting for our table.

Saturday morning started with a bike ride to yoga and back. My legs and arms are sore a day later and I love it. Shortly after I got back from yoga the roommate and I went to Poor Yorick Art Studios to help set up for the Local First "I Am Local" photo exhibition.  I'm the media intern for Local First so it was part work part volunteer hours. The exhibit turned out really nice and it was fun to get all dressed up and head back in the evening to shmooze and chat up interesting people from the community. 

Open studio event posters from Poor Yorick.

Me and the roommate at the party.

Between Local First appointments I covered a story for the Salt Lake Tribune. It was a home invasion self defense class taught at a karate school in Sandy. I had never been to a karate class before and it was pretty interesting. I don't think I'll start taking any classes myself, but I would totally be interested in any future bambinos being involved. I really liked the things they teach kids about self-esteem, confidence and focusing on defense instead of offense.

The teacher is on the left. The kids loved jumping on each other when it was time to partner up.

After the Local First photo show I went with a good friend to his cousin's birthday party. We drank too much and stopped at Burger King for cinnamon rolls at 1 a.m. They were wonderful. Totally not paleo but so worth it.

Sunday brought early morning errands, a hangover headache, getting the last of my school supplies and grocery shopping. A volunteer meeting for the Beer Fest next weekend and my first day back at The Daily Utah Chronicle for editing and work for our first issue of the semester. It is still smokey and hazy here, we really need a good storm to blow all this nasty air away. But it was all sunshine and the mountains still look beautiful.  

I'm very much looking forward to school starting tomorrow. I'm excited to get into the flow of the newspaper and classes and homework. It's going to be a busy semester and I just can't wait.

 

 

 

Working hard, iPad style

This summer I became part of the work-at-home population. I find that I don't mind it so much, but I really do miss the social I-see-people-at-work part. The solitude is nice, we all know this about me, but after about three days in a row of working at home, I get super restless and, so help me, I have to get out of the house.

I have always been comfortable and productive while working at a kitchen table. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. And I'm good with it. But my iMac is not good with it. You see, it's not so portable.

On a side note, if I could go back to my 25 year old self I say, "Self? I know you think you're doing the right thing by not getting a laptop, I get it. But do yourself a favor and get one anyway. I promise you'll love it. And your 28 year-old-self with love you for it. Mmkay? Thanks."

Since I didn't want two hard drives, etc., I picked up and iPad and keyboard as soon as I realized that's what I had been wanting/looking for/waiting for since I got my iMac. (see previous paragraph.)

I take this baby with me everywhere. It fits in my purse, which is not one of those Mary Poppins-esc carpet bags. (Though I did have one of those for a while and it totally rocked my socks.) I do web-surfing, note taking, article writing, calendar keeping, email checking, blog posting, fantasy baseball maintaining, news reading and time wasting work on this thing. I keep a hefty stash of AAA batteries on hand for when the keyboard dies so I don't have to type on the glass, heaven forbid.

So while I work really well at the kitchen table, I've been able to discover that I also work pretty well in coffee shops, diners, at the park, in the library, on the couch while watching a baseball game and in bed with Ellie snuggled next to me.

Because, seriously, does it get much better than this? I think not.

too much time to not think

The past four weeks have been interesting.  I couldn't really tell you what's been happening since I don't really remember.  But I know there has been reading, writing, driving, bus ridings and scant moments of arithmetic.

Eww. Especially the arithmetic part. 

But this session of summer classes is flying by, there are only 2 weeks left.  And I'm hoping by the end of it all I will have absorbed some fraction of economics. For some unknown reason I'm sure is silly.

The problem is this: I can't remember things because there is too much time. There are things I should be thinking about and keeping track of but I don't because I have lots of time to do it.  You see, I really operate better when there is too much to be done.  I'm a master procrastinator, avoider, and otherwise putter-offer.

Big sigh.

In the mean time other things are shaping up nicely.  I'm steadily getting more busy which is a relief. It sorta takes care of the too much time to think about nothing problem. The sun is shining and that makes my skin pink and me happy. With plenty of reading to get done and writing to do I've been scouting neighborhood coffee shops and found one within walking distance that has the most wonderful tea. 

I finally wrapped up the May photo challenge from Fat Mum Slim. Yesterday on June 3 to be exact. I sorta agreed to jump right in to June, but instead of using my phone and Instagram to capture and post the shots I'm using my big-girl-camera. Which means I'm supposed to be carrying it with me everywhere and being a bit more observant than usual. We'll just say I'm not doing so hot thus far. But do not dispair! I can do better. I will do better.

I'm also preparing for my first backpacking trip to take place this weekend.  I cannot express to you how incredibly hyped I am for this trip. I've been dreaming of hiking The Narrows in Zion National Park since I was about 14 and now, half my life later, I'm doing it. Three days and two nights tromping through one of the most beautiful slot canyons on the planet. So psyched for this.

In the mean time there's another article to write, three to edit, assignments to make, papers to write, homework to complete and a test to take. I'm pretty sure the next... month is totally gonna rock my socks.

It's the end but that doesn't mean it's the end

It's the end of the semester and its hard to believe. The 16 weeks of this semester have passed very quickly. But I'm so ready for a break. I need to sleep in and think about only one thing at a time. I've been doing school full time and work part time along with writing for the Chrony. I need a vacation.

But I'll be spending my two and a half weeks away from school working full time. My last day at work is coming quickly and there is much to get done before I no longer have to think about making soda. A day that I'm looking forward to.

Soon after my last day at work I'll start school again, two classes for the first session of summer. They are only six weeks long and I'm expecting them to be a lot of work. But half way through June I'll be set free again and I'll have two months to enjoy the sunshine and relax.

Except for the whole summer I'll be working at the Chrony. We won't be putting out a daily paper, we are only printing twice a month. But there's a lot for me to learn and I'm looking forward to the work.

In the middle of all this there are a couple vacations planned. First, a trip with friends to Zion National Park to hike The Narrows, something I've wanted to do since I was a teenager. The opportunity had never presented itself until recently and I jumped at the chance to make it happen. The second is a week in Boston. This makes me happy.

So while school is wrapping up and final assignments are due I'm looking forward to finally having a break. Which won't really happen until mid-June. And really, I'm pretty ok with that.

the predicament of where to study

Two 'bros' are hugging it out right next to me. It's lasting a long time and I find it to be kinda weird. Not that they're hugging, I'm a hugger too. But they are kinda rocking back and forth and laughing. Weird.

I used to park my pants in the library on the food level. There are nooks there with tables and padded benches. Lots of students go there to study and pass time between classes. I like it because it's cozy and you can eat there but it's still quiet.

Unlike the Union building where people are, what I would call, excessively loud. It's pretty obvious I don't like freshmen. Or overly loud people.

I've recently moved from the library to the computer lab in the Union. Mostly because I've needed to make phone calls during my down time and I don't feel comfortable doing that in the library. So the computer lab has been great. There are group project meet ups happening and people studying together. And it's also food-approved.

And even though it's more quiet down here and there is more studying going on that upstairs, I'd really rather be in a vacuum where it's quiet and food and cell phone friendly. Except that if it's too quiet I can't concentrate.

With only a couple weeks of school left, it's not something I'm spending a lot of time worrying about. In a couple weeks I'll be free of having to think about where I'm gonna spend my in-between class time. And since I only have one class every day during the summer, I won't have to worry about it then either. It's gonna be good.